Pocket Bebe

Bebe’s Blog:

Monday was our last appointment at the Tampa fertility clinic! Yay!!!  The appointment was for an ultrasound and we were able to see Bebe with his/her beating heart.  I have a still picture for you but it is really hard to see anything.  Bebe really looks like a gummy bear with its little arm and leg buds sticking out of its little body.  When you see the beating heart it seems like it takes over the whole body area.  Both Lucy and I tried to get video but it didn’t happen this time.  We just expected the tech to leave the scan on a loop like she did last time when she left the room and when we asked about it we were not so nicely told we were out of luck.  We did attempt to decode the ultrasound keyboard ourselves and recall the directions the tech had given to the trainee about the video during the ultrasound but we were both too scared that we would end up erasing the entire session that we kept our hands to ourselves.   

Bebe’s head is at the bottom by the arrow.

We toured two birthing centers, one hospital based birthing center, and a combined practice of midwives and OB/GYN’s that deliver at the hospital based birthing center.  Coming into the surrogacy arrangement Lucy, Ricky, and I had different ideas and different perspectives about what kind of prenatal care and delivery location was the best and I’m not going to say that getting to the final decision was a piece of cake on anyone’s part, but on Monday as Lucy and I went on all the tours and spoke with everyone it just fell into place. 

The last birthing center we visited and the practice of midwives that delivered at the hospital were both great and the next day Lucy said she’d be fine with either one but did have a preference after going home and researching more.  I had gone home after our day, got my injection, and was basically passed out within moments, so I hadn’t been able to wrap my head around a choice yet.  It ended up that she really liked the last birthing center and the way they handled things if Bebe and I needed to have care transferred to an OB mid-pregnancy or to a hospital during delivery.  It was neat to read later the extra research Lucy had found on the birthing center and how it is an extension of a Christian based pregnancy center program geared toward teen mothers with emphasis on the sanctity of life.  I was thrilled at the choice for our care and the chance through the pregnancy to support two ministries that I personally hold close to my heart and devote time to.  In hindsight God clearly had a hand in where we ended up that day and I only regret that we hadn’t come together in prayer and relied on Him the entire time we grappled with all the options.  Oh, how much easier it always is when I rely on Him and how easily I tend to forget that.

My Time:

I forgot about pregnancy dreams and how that is possible I don’t even know, those vivid little scenes that haunt my sleep, pry into the deep ends of my subconscious and ruin my much needed beauty rest.  I don’t know why but they are never vivid dreams full of sunshine, rainbows and butterflies, they are always scary, heart pounding, adrenaline pumping horrors.  The last one I can remember in detail was a dream where my four-year-old daughter was in one of those carnival swing rides and the riders would swing out over a body of water when the ride was in motion.  I stood at the rail and watched as her chair tipped forward while the flimsy chain did nothing to hold her petite little frame in the chair and she slipped out and went head first into the water.  I dove in to save her and that is when I woke up with enough adrenaline induced strength to lift a small car over my head and throw it had I wanted or needed to.  This is a part of pregnancy that I don’t love, it creeps me out.

This is totally unrelated but Lucy signed me up to receive several emails from different sights and one I got in my email today from Parents.com was titled: Pregnancy Bitchiness – Are you a Sufferer?  Seriously?? I’m sure the article is spot on and yes, I am a sufferer but isn’t it kind of sad that curse words have replaced couth in parenting publications?  

To end the day on a good note, I actually made dinner and cooked the meat without gagging or dry heaving in the trash can.  Not only did I cook it, I ate it.  Many times I’m so grossed out after cooking food while pregnant that I can’t even enjoy it, but tonight was an exception!  I don’t know the process but I know that by April 3^rd I will be weaned off all fertility medication, so praises there too!