Pocket Bebe

Thursday ushered in the rush of hormones that I had been expecting this whole time but was starting to wonder if I might possibly avoid.  Many times on Thursday I wanted to unleash snarky criticism at many different and random people.  I also almost cried three different times in public and then finally did at home to a husband that was really quite sweet.  He listened, sympathized, and did not minimize my feelings or try to tell me how I SHOULD be feeling.  It was such a blessing and that alone would have made me cry if I were not already blubbering all over the place.

Like it continues to be, it was freezing cold on Thursday morning.  Yes, northern folk who may be reading, I actually had a layer of ice on my windshield that needed to be removed prior to driving.  It was miserable at 7:30 in the morning trying to get moving and out the door with a crusty, sleepy preschooler.  I ended up being fifteen minutes late to the Tampa clinic and realized after getting signed in and getting Michelle dressed that we had arrived in Tampa with no shoes for her.  Yes, I became THAT mom who on the day that Florida had record breaking, freezing temps, did not have a pair of shoes for her four year old daughter.  Any and all mommy self worth deteriorated in that split second and I began to wonder what kind of judgment Lucy was lacking trusting me to carry her baby.  Yes, I know…VERY dramatic and over the top.  I’m not saying that any of this makes any sense.  This is hormones at their best; this was almost crying in public episode #1.

 To make a long and still tender story short, the morning at the clinic was full of chaos, way too much waiting, lost charts, and confusion on lab and ultrasound orders.  I was frustrated by everything the entire time and I couldn’t get out of there soon enough which finally happened around 11:45 am. This was almost crying in public episode #2.  At any rate, the ultrasound was good.  My lining was nice and thin where it was supposed to be and now comes the task of getting it built up right where they want it to be able to accept the little pocket bebe.

Episode #3 happened while in Wal-Mart when the clinic in Miami called me and reported that there was estrogen in my system and wanted to know what was going on.  I had to explain that my meds schedule said for me to start taking the Estrace that morning and to take it 3x a day and also to put on the first set of Vivelle patches.  Apparently, the meds schedule was SUPPOSED to say to not take anything until after my appointment when Miami would give me the “all clear” and that the Estrace is only to be taken twice a day.  By the time this call happened I had all ready taken the middle of the day dose releasing a second dose of estrogen into my system more quickly than necessary.  I was told that Miami needed to talk to the doctor and that they would call me back.  So, phone call ended with me feeling like I had majorly screwed up and was to blame even though the directions on my schedule were wrong!  A few minutes later my Blackberry went off with an email containing smiley faces saying that everything was fine but to only take the Estrace twice a day.  The smiley faces didn’t make me feel as good as the appropriate acceptance of responsibility would have but then again, I have to wonder if it would have ruffled my feathers as much if I weren’t so damn hormonal.

I know, I’m whining and it is grossly pathetic.  I semi, sort-of apologize for that.

© Pocketbebe, 2010