Pocket Bebe

It is quite entertaining to watch a person’s face when you are telling them that you are going to be a gestational surrogate:  first, shock registers, then confusion, on to puzzlement, awe, and then back to more confusion.  Even though surrogacy can be traced back thousands of years ago (remember Abraham, Sarai, and Hagar?) it is still a somewhat revolutionary concept depending upon the circles in which you travel.  The first step in helping people digest this confusion-inducing news is to fill people in on what exactly a surrogate is.

Surrogacy is when a woman agrees to carry and deliver a baby for someone else with the intent to cede the child to its parents.  There are two different kinds of surrogates, usually termed “traditional” surrogates (TS) and “gestational” surrogates (GS).  A TS is when the surrogate agrees to use her eggs and another man’s sperm, usually becoming pregnant via artificial insemination (AI).  The TS is the biological mother of the baby.  A GS is when the surrogate uses her uterus to become pregnant using a form of ART.  Unlike the TS, the GS is not in any way genetically related to the child.

I am going to be a GS for Lucy and Ricky, attempting to become pregnant for them through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).  IVF is the process of placing fertilized eggs into a woman’s uterus.  In our situation, Lucy and Ricky have four cryogenically frozen five-day-old blastocysts (fertilized eggs they created) residing in two “straws” of two.

Listed below are some general qualifications that are required to become a surrogate:

• Be a citizen, or permanent resident, of the United States (click here to see if surrogacy is legal in your state of residence)
• Be between the ages of 21-40 (Both TS and GS have age limitations and the range depends upon whether you are an independent surrogate or with an agency)
• Have given birth to a child of your own
• Have had uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries – capable of carrying full term
• Be height-weight proportionate 
• Be in a stable living situation
• Have the support of your spouse (or partner, if applicable)
• Not be on public assistance (while this doesn’t eliminate you from possibly being an independent surrogate, it is a hindrance to agencies,)
• Be able to pass a background check
• Be willing to take medications via injection (when instructed by a reproductive endocrinologist)
• Not smoke or be exposed to second hand smoke
• Not take illegal drugs
• Be willing to limit caffeine intake and/or eliminate it completely
• Be willing to refrain from alcohol throughout the pregnancy
• Be willing to abstain from sex (when instructed by a reproductive endocrinologist)
• Not have any sexually transmitted diseases
• Not have any psychiatric illness (a psychological evaluation is part of  initial testing)
• Have reliable transportation
• Not have had any tattoos or piercings within the past 12 months
• Be willing to provide your medical history including current and past contact information for OBs or family doctors

 Surrogacy has been around for thousands of years, yet many people do not know much about it.  Reviewing a list of surrogate qualifications like the one above helped me as I began moving toward becoming a surrogate.  However, the biggest requirement to becoming a surrogate is a rather personal one.  You must have the gift of enjoying pregnancy and a heartfelt yearning to share your gift with others by helping them create or expand their family! 

Coming Up Next: Lucy’s Story

© Pocketbebe, 2009.