December 12, 2010 at 1:26 PM (Our Journey)
Tags: crazy pregnancy photos, pregnancy photos
I don’t need to do a dang thing to introduce what I’m about to send your way…trust me….you will be squinting your eyes, belly laughing, and squeezing your kegel muscle hoping you don’t have a repeat episode of your last trampoline jump. These pregnancy photos gone bad are just what you need to see to brighten up your day. To my sister-in-law who is snowed-in up in Minneapolis at the moment, I thank you……
Click Here: Pregnant Chicken Blog
P.S. Get to see Enzo this week, so excited!
November 27, 2010 at 8:46 PM (Our Journey)
Tags: 2 months old, Gestational Surrogacy, Surrogacy, Surrogate Baby
Little piggy is growing Mama says he is weighing in at 12 pounds 1 ounce. Enzo is getting close to three months old now. How the time is flying! Here is a current photo of the little (big) man:
Professional photos taken shortly after E’s birth:
When I text, talk, and see pictures of how Enzo and his family are doing and what they are up too, I feel so happy. We’ve all been blessed through this and we know we have a lot to be thankful for.
November 13, 2010 at 2:32 PM (Our Journey, Surrogate Education)
Tags: Abortion, crisis pregnancy center, Post abortion, post abortion syndrome, prochoice, prolife, selective reduction, Surrogacy, termination
I know that I need to post an update on Enzo and get some of the many pictures that Lucy sends me on to the blog for you to see but that isn’t what I’m going to post about today, sorry!! Many people think the blog is coming to an end now, but that isn’t going to happen either. There are many things I still want to write about regarding surrogacy and one of the big ones is landing on this page today. I will continue to give updates on Enzo and our families along with tackling some of the issues that parents or surrogates come across on the surrogacy journey…you wouldn’t think so, but I’ve yet to even scratch the surface of this miraculous and complex subject. I hope you continue to read along and post your comments on whatever forum you tend to read this blog on because I love interacting with you all!
So, there is a decision that every surrogate mother and every intended parent has to make before a single preparatory step is made in a surrogate arrangement and that subject area is how you feel about termination or selective reduction also known as abortion, also known as making the choice to end a life. Blood pressure rising yet?? Now, I know there are many realms of justification and MANY opinions regarding what each singular person may decide for themselves at what point a life constitutes life. I personally don’t trust myself to choose or reach the absolute right truth in this area, this is an area I have never had the desire to f&^k up in. Believe me, I am fully capable to justify and argue points on either side, but just because I can make a pretty damn good case for either side it doesn’t make it the truth. I relied on the bible to make my decisions but if I had needed a secondary source, my friends would have been enough help.
Many of my friends are post abortive, statistically like 1 in every 4 of them. It shouldn’t surprise anyone, but if your friends actually felt they could tell their secret, you would probably be pretty shocked at how that statistic holds true. You’re clueless if you think this only applies to women in lower socioeconomic groups and those who claim no affiliation with God. Our churches are full of women sitting in silence and most often in pain about their abortion choices and decisions yet to be made. One of my best friends helps run a crisis pregnancy center and through her I’ve had the opportunity to serve in post abortion ministry. It simultaneously rips my heart out and powerfully restores the soul. The thing I don’t think most people understand is that the majority of the people who cry out against abortion aren’t some clan of zealous religious freaks (but yes, some of them are) they are women who have exercised their rights to have an abortion (doesn’t matter the circumstances surrounding the decision) and have since came to the conclusion that they shouldn’t have. What sucks the most for those friends is the damn hindsight. Their abortions affected them more than they ever thought they could, they believed the nurses and the clinics when they said, “After today, you won’t ever have to think about this again.” It wasn’t true!! Even though they didn’t want to think about it, they did and they thought about it a lot. It affected marriages in ways they didn’t even see at times, their sex lives, their ability to love, the guilt they felt when looking at the children they did have, the anger at themselves, their families, their friends, or God.
I’m thankful for friends who would plead and beg with me if necessary not to make the same choices. I am also thankful that their eyes along with mine have been opened to understand that what a post abortive woman needs period is compassion, love, understanding, and the truths that lead to the healing process. I don’t know how anyone could sit and actually listen to an abortion story and have the audacity to come off self righteous. I’m sorry post abortive women that the reality is sometimes that way, it shouldn’t be. I find it offensive myself when someone knows I haven’t had an abortion so they think I can’t possibly understand those that have or assumes I judge myself to be better than someone who has.
At any rate, for surrogates and intended parents writing out details of their surrogacy contract, you aren’t dealing with a crisis situation when making these decisions, you are making them without pressure before a pregnancy even occurs. I urge you to really think about and research this aspect as much as you researched your fertility clinic, your finances, or your choice of lawyer. Intended parents should not be making abortion choices for their surrogates and surrogates shouldn’t be letting them. The genetic material may or may not be coming from the surrogate but everyone IP’s and surrogates included, needs to understand that the removal of the embryo(s)/baby would be coming out from the surrogate’s body and that genetic material doesn’t eliminate the surrogate from emotional and physical consequences of receiving the procedure. It doesn’t eliminate the intended parents from the effects either.
Also, don’t believe that just because the statistics for the splitting of embryos or five day blasts are low that you aren’t setting yourself up for selective reduction. Even if you don’t think it could really happen, it happens, it could happen to you. Ashley’s two embryos took and then one split into identical twins so she carried triplets, read her story here. You could be the one out of how ever many that this happens to, take these hypothetical situations seriously in making such decisions. How awful it would be thinking it really wouldn’t happen and then it does and you are under contract for an abortion you never really wanted. No matter the contract, as a surrogate you have full control of your body the entire process but you would need your lawyer to see you through the change in contract terms with your IP’s if they still wanted to enforce the contracted abortion. Most likely there would be financial consequences for the surrogate. Personally, if I found that I hadn’t protected myself from the beginning and was in that situation, I’d take the financial consequence no matter the cost or burden and trust that the life inside me was worth living. If your contract was made in a state where surrogacy is illegal or contracts aren’t legally enforcable the surrogate most likely won’t experience consequences (remember the legal aspect of that in reverse intended parents…if the contract isn’t legal or can’t be enforced the surrogate could abort or reduce at any time she wanted to for any reason). Check your P’s and Q’s no matter how uncomfortable the conversations.
You will have many people who view abortion, termination, and selective reduction as no big deal, the rest will offer guidance for the other side of that coin along with the offer of support when a post abortion experience does become a big deal and the first group doesn’t know how in the hell to help you with that. You can contact any crisis pregnancy center to help talk through these major decisions, you don’t need to be pregnant to utilize their services. You can email me, you can talk to Jessica whose story is below, you can talk to my friend Kari at her center (the phone is answered 24/7), all you have to do is ask for the phone number and/or inquire by posting me a comment on here (I won’t publish those requests) or email me at pocketbebe@yahoo.com.
Just the other night the center where Kari works at held a gala to celebrate the lives saved from abortion and the restoration found for those in need of post abortion healing. Our friend Jessica spoke the beautiful words written below:
My name is Jessica and I am a daughter of God. I have tasted the sweetness of forgiveness in many wonderful ways. Part of that sweetness has come to me by my post abortion healing group called Surrendering the Secret.
You see, eleven years ago in my search to find love and my purpose in life, I became pregnant. I was 17 and I made the decision to parent Blaine. After 2 1\2 years of struggling with addiction and making incredibly poor choices, I gave him to my brother and sister-in-law and they adopted him. After this happened, I vowed I would never again have any children. Six years ago, just one year after signing the adoption papers, I found myself faced with another unplanned pregnancy. My decision to keep that vow I made a year before seemed clear. On July 19, 2004 I chose to abort my 14 week old baby. Today, by God’s sweet and merciful grace, I am 27 weeks pregnant, married to an amazing man, and have the joy of raising our two wonderful sons.
As I have journeyed through my abortion experience, I have discovered God’s true heart for me as a beloved daughter. I used to view God and faith in God as some sort of fairy tale, to be used as a security blanket for the weak and to help people sleep at night. If this God was real, I was sure he knew nothing of the hell I’d been through.
I soon discovered that He does know me, and it wasn’t until I began to learn about and really know Him that it began to make sense. I have learned that He wants me to rest in His arms, and that even in my darkest places He is pursuing me. I’ve learned that all my children are created and deeply loved by God. I’ve learned that at death, my sweet baby that I aborted was immediately passed into God’s presence. I know that she is waiting for me and the rest of our family to join her in heaven. Such amazing truths that God has pressed into my heart.
I shared these pieces of my life with my Surrendering the Secret group expecting rejection, and instead I received welcoming arms of acceptance as they shared their own stories of pain and struggle. Through this, I began to understand what grace is really about, and that God’s grace truly is sufficient. That grace has allowed me to see my baby laughing in the arms of our Father, and given me the gift of knowing that someday, I will be there laughing too.
Through my healing experience I came to realize how dear my sisters are to me. How well they have loved me when I once considered love to be an impossibility. They’ve been there for me to vent, cry, and even rage in my deepest moments of grief. God has shown me the beauty of the body of Christ.
That, my friends, is why ministries like these are so vitally important. God’s heart broke the day we chose to abort our babies, but it also breaks everyday that we are held in bondage to this decision. Without the ministry there are women who may go their entire lives haunted by their pasts or by currents choices they face. When provided with the truth they can experience freedom instead of slavery. Jesus is passionate about the healing of those lost and suffering from the effects of abortion. He is crying out to the Father on behalf of these women, and I can think of nothing more beautiful.
© Pocketbebe, 2010
October 27, 2010 at 9:54 PM (Our Journey)
Tags: Dads surrogacy, Gestational Surrogacy, Surrogacy Support
Most of the time it is women who you come across in the surrogacy support groups because we women tend to want to share every single feeling we have and men for the most part don’t but that doesn’t mean that every step of whatever process baby making takes that our men aren’t affected too. From all the surrogate moms to their men, thanks for ALL YOU DO to help us help other men get to join the club too. We love you!
© Pocketbebe, 2010
October 24, 2010 at 9:31 PM (Our Journey)
Tags: breast feeding, Gestational Surrogacy, post partum, post surrogacy, pumping, surrogacy blogs
It has been a long weekend friends, I am tired and when I get tired I tend to wax nostalgic.
My mother-in-law is in town as it had been planned for her to help me control the troops when Enzo was born but since he came early it has turned more into a fun trip. We were at the beach last weekend to celebrate instead of give birth and this weekend we went to Sea World.
There were a lot of pregnant ladies at Sea World and I am not pregnant anymore; I am 7 weeks postpartum with a flabby wiggly belly and an extra ten pounds of pure fat. I was jealous. I found myself wanting to be the fully pregnant person riding around the park in the Rascal motor scooter; I wanted to shove that cute little thing in trendy maternity clothing to the ground and steal her cart and her pregnant belly. While I am also still wearing maternity clothing and I get to carry the trendy backpack pump and pump milk in the name of world hunger (well, Enzo’s hunger anyway) I’m just not pregnant anymore and there is a lot I like about being pregnant. The only good news is that I FINALLY quit the gross postpartum bleed and I no longer feel like I’m walking around swearing I smell like rusty metal. Plus there is the sex thing..Hubba Hubba.
Bump Fairy, Sabrina, had baby Thomas this past week for Mama Jaymee and I’ve alternated tears at reading their journey and seeing their amazing photos with literally almost peeing my pants during the Pet’s Ahoy show at Sea World reading about her “morning boob” (yes, during the show I was on my phone reading blogs. I’ve seen the show a zillion times now I could recite it in my sleep. Variety would be nice folks). Sabrina was the last one left I was following with a similar due date, it all feels very much over now and all that being said, it doesn’t really have much to do with Enzo himself. I was a conduit for Lucy and Ricky to grow Enzo and Enzo was a conduit for me to be a part of a very amazing experience and group of women. Other than Surro Friend who lives down the road from me, I’ve never met a single one of these ladies (or boys in IF’s Mike and Robbie’s case) in person and yet I find myself wanting to round up Sabrina, Jaymee, Leana, Leslie, Erica, Jeniffer, Selena, Mike & Robbie, John & Amy, and all the rest of you to have drinks and chat like old friends.
That brings me to answering a few questions I get a lot now that the surrogacy is over, do I think I will be a surrogate again? The truthful answer is I don’t know. Do I want to be a surrogate again? Absolutely. Why would I want to be a surrogate again? Even though I try to tell you all, it is really something beyond indescribable but it is not only the immense satisfaction I received for myself and Lucy and Ricky received in Enzo, this is what drove and would drive me to do it again the most,
“If you are going to be used by God, he will take you through a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all; they are meant to make you useful in his hands.” Oswald Chambers
My future plans must be in partnership with His, but I wouldn’t cry if that meant another surrogacy was in the future for me. Holy Schnikes, I probably just gave my entire support system outside of the surrogacy world a heart attack (they all love me tons and therefore worry). Surrogacy world knows exactly where I am coming from and nodding their heads in understanding. Too funny! Everyone relax, just because I would do it again doesn’t mean I will. 
So, Leana and Leslie are up to bat with delivering their surro babies now and Mike & Robbie have switched their blogging over to Lillian The Beautiful since she is has arrived.
Pictures of Enzo’s discharge day from the NICU:
Here is The Husband the next morning after he had his appendix removed and was being discharged from the hospital. He is going to kill me by the way for posting this.
© Pocketbebe, 2010
October 18, 2010 at 9:59 PM (Our Journey, Surrogate Education)
Tags: 34 weeks, birth, Gestational Surrogacy, intended mother, labor, Pitocin, surrogate
UPDATE: Enzo was discharged from the hospital Thursday evening and they returned home. Lucy told me this weekend that he was starting to get his appetite back but still had a cough. Tonight she told me he is back to taking four ounces at a time again. Please continue to pray for their family and for some normalcy.
This past Friday, October 15, was Enzo’s due date and instead of arriving at the birthing center for a water birth, I arrived for my six week postpartum appointment. There were two women there giving birth and usually when someone goes in to have a baby they cancel all the remaining appointments for the day but since it takes me two hours to drive there I was still allowed to come (plus I think they wanted to see pictures). It was a little bitter sweet as our midwives had wanted to deliver us as much as we wanted to deliver there. Lucy and I had mourned our loss of that dream while in the hospital but it was so very sweet to see that other people were just as disappointed as we had been. In the end though he arrived healthy and happy; well, until that nasty virus got him a week ago but that is a separate issue. All checked out great and that was the end of our birthing center chapter.
I’m still pumping milk for Enzo. I don’t know if this is the absolute truth but a book I read said that when a woman delivers a preemie for the first four weeks the milk is obviously geared exactly for that preemie and contains a lot more protein than full term milk would but after just four weeks (no matter how early baby arrived) it is no different than the milk at 40 weeks gestation would be. I pumped every three hours when I started pumping to build up a supply because I wanted to express as much of that preemie milk as I could before the four weeks were up. My highest producing day was 56 ounces (I’m using the Medela Symphony pump) but my average was about 48 ounces a day and it was A LOT of work and physically tiring. Now, I am only pumping three times a day and I’m only yielding 20 to 24 ounces a day but it is what works for me and what fits into my schedule. To answer everyone’s question, I do not know how long I am going to pump for. To answer another potential question, this is normal in the surrogacy world. Lucy is still pumping and breastfeeding also. I’ll do a post in the future about storing and shipping breast milk but I thought you might like to hear about my recent shipping experience.
I was in the Fed-X shipping store and the Fed-X guy came while I was there. I had three heavy coolers in boxes containing dry ice and something around 800 ounces of frozen milk. I had written on the boxes, FRAGILE HUMAN MILK and the Fed-X guy goes, “What is human milk?” and the lady (remember I live in redneck central) goes, “It’s breast milk dumbass.” Without missing a beat he turns to me and asks, “How many gallons of that there breast milk are ya shipping?” So, Fed-X guy thinks I’m at home filling plastic milk jugs with boobie milk. This mental image starts to crack me up and then I notice he is eyeing my rack as if he plans on taking a guess and if he’s right that I might give him some sort of stuffed pony. As I left though I began to wonder just how many gallons of milk it really was… when I went home and converted it, it was almost 6 ½ gallons of milk that I had collected in the previous 14 day grind. Six and a half friggin’ gallons!! Yeah, I’m pretty dang proud of that accomplishment. I should earn a patch for my sash, I could help feed a small third world country.
Ok, so what you are really here for is to find out about Enzo’s actual birth day. Day three of the induction ended around nine at night and I was able to eat and take a shower. At midnight began day four of the induction. I was super excited that they were beginning Pitocin at midnight but was quickly deflated when I found out they were only going to go up to half the maximum dosage and keep me at that until six in the morning. Urgh!!! Annoying because I had to be on the monitor (contraction and heartbeat) while on the Pitocin and that meant that I wouldn’t hardly be sleeping. Those six hours slowly dragged by and eventually they started upping it slowly. From here, I don’t remember the time frames of things. I started having contractions according to the monitor but they still didn’t hurt so we didn’t get our hopes up. Then I stood up for a bit and they started to get stronger and then within a few minutes were coming faster and faster. They didn’t last very long but as soon as I had finished a contraction another one was starting. I was leaning on the bed when I’d have a contraction and the monitors would come off the baby and all I can remember thinking is that if Lucy were watching the monitor when I leaned forward she would be freaking out. When it was at the point where I was only just beginning labor but the frequency and intensity was exactly like transition phase I just knew the labor experience was going to get ugly before we reached the actual birth. At that point I was only at ¾ of the maximum dose and they had no intention of not reaching that maximum dose to ensure I progressed with labor and I could not imagine having to endure the full dosage with worse contractions for HOURS. I talked with the nurse about the epidural and I was only willing not to have the epidural if it meant I would have to stay the night at the hospital after delivering Enzo – remember I also had a husband in intense pain on the cusp of having his appendix removed. So, the epidural was called in for me and the Epi man was in emergency c-section surgery and had another c-section to do before he could get to me. OMG, that was the longest hour in my life and my husband couldn’t even take a break from rubbing my back because the contractions felt like they never stopped. When he finally got there I just remember sharply sucking my breath in and arching my back during the numbing injection. I think it was around eleven or eleven thirty and I believe I was four cm when she checked me after the epidural. I know I told The Husband to tell Lucy and Ricky to come then. I’m not sure but I think they came, left to grab lunch and then came back again. I do know that at 1:30 I felt the right kind of pressure and told the nurse but she didn’t check me. Right before two Ricky was going to go back to the condo and pack his bags because he, Little Ricky, and Auntie were going to be flying back to Miami at the end of the day. He was going out the door right at two when the midwife came in to check me. She told the nurse a few more contractions and he would have been delivered on the bed. Lucy called Ricky and stopped him in the parking lot and in less than two minutes I swear that room was transformed and the entire NICU team was ready. It was quite impressive. Two pushes and Enzo was crowning. It felt like an eternity after the second push while we had to wait for the next contraction for me to push and his head was half out and I remember thinking there was no way in hell I would have been able to do that had I not had an epidural. If I could of felt that fire I would have been pushing, contraction or not to get past that pain. When the contraction came I had just started when they told me to stop and right out he came. The birth time was 2:12. The midwife sat him on me for a second and cut and clamped the cord and he went right into the warmer as the team started to examine him. He was crying the minute he came out and scored a 9 on his first apgar. Ricky did the final cord cutting and Lucy was taking pictures the entire time. She got Enzo and they were holding him and it was so exciting to see her with him finally. She had tears in her eyes and when she brought him close for me to see, I got tears in mine. My husband was excited and was taking pictures, it made me giddy because that excitement was what I got to experience the entire time. It was so incredibly happy and amazing. I asked the midwife to show me the placenta after it was delivered and Lucy was curious to see it too as Enzo had so loved shoving his face into it. Something interesting that she showed us as we examined it was that the cord wasn’t attached to the placenta smack in the middle like it usually is it was attached to the placenta near the edge of it right next to where the amniotic sac was attached. We asked her if that was where the tear was that caused me to leak fluid but she said it was impossible to tell. It was interesting to note though and may have been the reason since no other reason was found for it rupturing premature. Enzo’s second apgar score was 9 also and then before I knew it the team wanted to take him to the NICU to get him on monitors to see his temp and start his antibiotic.
I received one stitch for a small tear and was put back on a small dose of Pitocin to help contract the uterus and seal off some of those blood vessels. My catheter was removed and then the epidural turned off. Shortly the girl came to remove the epidural. Then my IV line was removed and I went to the bathroom. I was brought dinner and I was able to eat. After that I was able to shower and we began to pack up. Lucy and Ricky had been in the NICU most of the rest of the afternoon and eventually Ricky had to leave for the airport with Little Ricky and Auntie. Lucy’s mom and dad had arrived and left to get dinner. I was discharged and Lucy, The Husband, and I were able to go into the NICU to see Enzo (pictures of that in last post) and I cried at how little and perfect he looked (ironically right after Lucy commented on how big he was). That was the smallest baby I had ever delivered.
When I started talking to him he opened his eyes and Lucy mentioned that he recognized my voice. I write about that because I think if I were Lucy, that might have made me jealous but Lucy has never been that way with me. I couldn’t tell you how many times she has expressed to me that she loves that there is another woman that her son is connected to. This isn’t uncommon in surrogacy but it also isn’t the norm and I really feel so blessed to have the relationship with Lucy that I do. We are Sister Moms.
After visiting Enzo it was time for us to leave and go home. Lucy and I had joked all week that it felt like when this moment came it was going to feel like we were breaking up. Lucy and I will be forever friends but our relationship was now shifting from what it had been to what it would be now and it was weird as we walked out the doors to know that that moment was now. When The Husband and I finally left the hospital that night just six hours after delivering Enzo, we went grocery shopping at Publix.
P.S. Bump Fairy is in labor! Make sure to keep watch on her blog and her IM’s blog – My Surrogacy Adventure. Thinking about you ladies!
© Pocketbebe, 2010
October 9, 2010 at 11:25 AM (Our Journey)
I think it was two weekends ago that Lucy told me that Little Ricky had gotten a virus at school and was pretty sick. Then, most of the rest of the family got it including an Auntie and the nanny. Then Enzo got it. He became very congested and where he was taking 5 ounces of breast milk it became difficult to even take a few ounces. On one trip to the ER this week he was tested for RSV and it came back negative. Lucy returned to the ER with him last night and he is now in the pediatric intensive care unit and he is intubated as he just got so tired he couldn’t breathe on his own. He is receiving IV fluids as he became a bit dehydrated. Lucy says he is receiving some of her fresh milk through the feeding tube. She explained what is going on is a combination of a very nasty virus and him being premature. Please pray for baby Enzo and add him onto your prayer chains.
Thanks everyone!
October 7, 2010 at 9:10 PM (Our Journey)
Tags: Cytotec, Day 3 Induction, Foley Catheter Balloon, Gestational Surrogacy, Induction
Back to the birth story….If you remember, last time I left off after writing about 2 days of full dosage Pitocin without much progress other then setting Pitocin receptors into place. Day three was time to do something else but let me sidebar for a second….
The night I went into the hospital I was 33 weeks and a few hours away from 4 days pregnant. After calling Lucy and telling her that I was pretty sure I was leaking fluid and we were all headed to the hospital, she contacted her friend who is part of the maternal fetal medicine world (aka high risk obstetrics). After talking to her, she found out that the recommendation according to ACOG (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) standards for a 34 week pregnant woman who entering the hospital leaking fluid and contracting would be to deliver the baby. After I arrived and was admitted phone orders were given for steroids, antibiotic, and if the monitor showed I was contracting they wanted to give me magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions. Around this time my husband was freaking out because the nurse was telling him that if they could get the contractions to stop the doctors sometimes keep patients pregnant up to 37 weeks…this would translate to 3 weeks and 3 days of me in the hospital. I’m surprised he didn’t have a stroke right then and there. Lucy was telling me to refuse the magnesium sulfate which accounted for standoff number one with a particular nurse I will now name, Miss KIA (Know It All). At any rate, Miss Kia and I had a stand-off once the monitor showed I was contracting and she wanted to follow the orders to give me the magnesium. In a haughty five minute go-round in which my intelligence was questioned more than once, the debate ended with me telling her to go type up whatever papers I needed to sign because no matter what she said or threatened me with I was going to go against my mystery doctor’s orders and contract. I willed Lucy to get there……… As you know from previous posting, the contractions stopped on their own.
A few days later and after more consultation with Lucy’s friend, Yogi (the high risk doctor), we decided we were going to speak to the OB I’d been assigned to and see if he would give orders at 34 weeks to induce me. Enzo’s fluid level was very good but I was sitting with ruptured membranes, each day waiting to see if infection might set in. Enzo had received the two dosages of steroids for his lungs and the pediatrician in Lucy felt it was better for him to be out than in. We did not agree with the “keep the baby in for as long as possible” plan of treatment. Either way it was diced, there were potential complications and risk. In a gray area we wanted to be proactive, rather than wait on infection and then be potentially forced to have to become more invasive and reactive. I asked a nurse what she thought the OB’s reaction might be if we approached him to see if he would induce; she was skeptical he would and then went and gave them a heads up. Tsk, tsk little Miss Kia. Just a quick fyi, when your 33 weeks and deliver a baby the OB doctor has to be in attendance but when your 34 weeks the midwife who works under an OB can deliver- which in my case was a bonus because my first impression of the OB hadn’t been stellar. The second impression didn’t turn out much better because when OB and midwife caught wind of what we wanted to talk to them about they came into my room guns blazing (of course when Lucy wasn’t there) and the OB doctor himself had a complete and total hissy (hissy is not the word that does justice here) fit/tantrum that rivals those of my four year old. He made majorly inappropriate and off based comments. I seriously had to pick my jaw up off the ground, I had never seen a spectacle so unprofessional; his arms were waving all around, eye twitching. Juno fans, he was giving me MAJOR STINK EYE. I was MAD. Ok, really… I was beyond F-ing mad. How dare he talk about my Baby Mama and me that way!? But, he was doing such a good job of making an ass of himself I was able to stay calm (and fight back any tears that wanted to well up at the injustice of being bombarded like that), reminded him of all of Lucy’s medical credentials (which was like poking a wild bear) and the standards of ACOG (which he damn well knew). I informed him (insides shaking) that what we were asking wasn’t wrong, just the other side of how he normally chooses to handle things.
I wanted sooooo bad to throw out that we’d been receiving maternal fetal consult the entire time but knew it was a card I needed to hold otherwise I risked sending him over the edge and not getting what we wanted without a bigger battle. I did however verbalize that an induction was something we just wanted to have a conversation about not an argument over and that now I wasn’t sure how I felt having about two pissed off people, guns blazing as the ones who were eventually going to be the ones delivering the baby. The last thing I wanted was some doctor with a chip on his shoulder deciding to teach me a lesson with an unnecessary episiotomy or something entirely crazy. The tone changed a lot after I said that and the midwife realized the OB was being pretty extreme and unprofessional and she started backtracking and smoothing things over. Hands flung in the air as he was walking out of the room he said, “Fine, I’ll give the orders at 34 weeks and you can deliver her.” That was pretty much my last dealing with the OB doctor other than he popped back in a few minutes later and asked if this was my fourth pregnancy (he was debating the use of a particular drug…more on that later) and was gone with the wind. Whatever – *finger and thumb in the shape of an L on my forehead*. Yeah, that was a Smash Mouth reference.
During this time there was a lot of talk about using a drug called Cytotec (big gasp for some of you non druggers out there – get it out of your system). The OB had had a few patients that experienced some complications when using it and he decided that this being my fourth pregnancy that I wasn’t a candidate for it. The entire time I was in the hospital our birthing center down by Tampa and the midwives there were keeping tabs on us, leaving messages they were praying for us and wanting to be kept informed on what was happening. So one of our original midwives had been explaining all the various routes, options, and anything I might need to know. She didn’t agree that the particular drug being talked about was out of the running and advised that we tell the midwife now in charge of my care (under temper tantrum OB) that we wanted a maternal fetal consult. Par for the course, the nurse changing my IV bag overheard me on the phone and passed the word on to the midwife who apparently agreed with the use of the Cytotec and just went ahead and had the consult with their maternal fetal contact in Tampa who in turn gave input on exactly how to carry out the induction which the midwife followed to a T. I guess I will never know who that doctor exactly was but I am very thankful for their expertise because I truly think it was thanks to her that Enzo made it out the way he did.
OK, BACK TO THE MAIN POINT AFTER THAT FOUR PARAGRAPH SIDEBAR.
CROTCH WATCH: The plan for day three of the induction was to use a Foley catheter kit and place the tip of it up inside my cervix, fill it like a balloon with saline, apply tension every half hour and when it popped out I would be around 2 cm dilated. The trick for the midwife was going to be getting it into the cervix because it was still so far back and not aligned with the vagina. It took all of this short little woman’s strength and I’m fairly certain, her entire arm to get it in place. I had to cover my face because I couldn’t watch The Husband or Lucy watch me. I felt like a train wreck, the carnage on the side of the track that nobody really wants to look at but yet can’t pry their eyes away from. So, thankfully they got the darn thing in and they used a cord clamp at the end of it so fluid and goo wouldn’t come out and then put a rubber glove over that to catch any drainage. When I stood up later, Lucy and I totally lost it with delirious laughter; we took a picture (that I won’t scar you with) but I created a new Halloween idea for Howl-O-Scream, I WAS CROTCH HAND. I literally had a gloved looking hand hanging down out of my gown and by God that was the funniest thing to happen to us in an entire week.
Eventually the balloon popped out and I was dilated to 2 cm and after four small doses of rectal Cytotec, experienced lots of softening and thinning but no contractions. By 9 pm that was the end of induction day three and I was taken off the machines, all meds, and I got to eat for the first time since the night before.
Here are more pictures from Mr. Enzo’s birthday!
© Pocketbebe, 2010
September 13, 2010 at 10:48 AM (Our Journey)
Tags: Appendix, Birth day photos, Gestational Surrogacy
Enzo is 1 week old today. He was discharged from the NICU when he was five days old which was Friday and after taking my girls and Surro grandma to meet him, Enzo and his family made the drive home to Miami. Lucy said they were at the doctor this morning and he weighs 5 pounds 9.5 ounces now! He is a growing handsome boy. Here are some more pictures from the day he was born:
I apologize for not being on here to fill in the rest of the details to Enzo’s birth. I plan on doing it but it is going to take me a little bit to find the time. What I didn’t mention in the previous postings is that on the same night my water started leaking my husband also started feeling pain behind his belly button. It got worse through that day but kind-of got sidelined when we had to rush to the hospital for me that night. When we knew I was stable for the time being he was able to get into our family doctor who thought it could potentially be a few different things. A strained muscle, an ulcer, stones, but her feeling was appendix. He had his blood drawn and it showed an elevated white blood count. She suggested he have a CT scan. He came to the hospital where I was so if the scan indicated his appendix, he could have surgery there where I was located. According to the ER, the scan results didn’t indicate appendix and his white blood cells were now within the normal range. This was frustrating because he was clearly in pain and no solution was given. He then met with a local general surgeon who did an exam and indicated that he thought it was the appendix but thought maybe a consult with a GI doctor might be a better first stop before jumping to exploratory surgery.
We were relieved to have bought some time as I was desperate to have him with me during the induction that was scheduled to start the next day. He rested in the hospital with me and the pain became more manageable through the four day induction. We returned home Monday night after the birth and he returned to working some until the GI appointment on Friday. We went to our daughter’s first golf match on Wednesday and it was blazing hot and then down poured on us and they had to call the match 7 holes in. Our daughter hopped in the golf cart with us and we had a ridiculous ride back to the clubhouse in sideways rain, both my husband and I joking but hanging on to our lower tummies for dear life swearing that we were both experiencing placental abruptions. Thursday I started pumping my milk to help supplement Enzo.
Friday we went to the GI doctor who upon examination of my husband (who got dizzy and almost puked when the doctor pressed on the appendix) declared that my husband should go to surgery that evening. I was still able to run to the other hospital for the kids to meet Enzo, drop off milk, and see them all again before heading home, dropping the kids off to grandpa and taking The Husband to the local hospital. He was in surgery around 8 and done by 8:40. It WAS his appendix and it was removed. I was able to be with him in recovery and when they moved him to his room. It was around 11 pm when I left him in his bed with his 70 year-old, Irish roommate who was pumped up on painkillers singing tavern songs and pretty much acting belligerent. I wanted to cry, I hated leaving him there in so much pain, alone and with the annoying piano man. I prayed his own pain medicine would knock him close to unconscious. I was able to pick him up the next morning and we were home around 11:30 am.
I am so thankful for the timing on everything and how just surrendering the details over to God has in the end made this whole thing somewhat manageable. Our friends have been providing meals which has taken a huge monkey off my back as everything unfolded and been such a huge blessing. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I think today has been the first day that I have been able to just breathe and actually rest from the events of the past two weeks. I am doing well and feel very grateful. As time permits this week, I’d like to finish up the birth story so I have it all documented before I forget it or it all turns into a blur. Thanks for the all the well wishes and the prayers.
© Pocketbebe, 2010
September 7, 2010 at 11:48 AM (Our Journey)
Enzo arrived at 2:12 pm on Labor Day (how fitting…), September 6, 2010.
He weighed 5 pounds 6.3 ounces and is 18 inches long! He is doing fantastic and is just receiving a 7 day antibiotic in the NICU. He is breathing and doing everything well on his own. He is sooo adorable! He was born at 34 weeks 4 days gestation.
I was released last night around 8 pm and after visiting Enzo in the NICU got to come home and sleep in my own bed! I am doing great and will even be picking up my kids at school today. I am hoping to get some pictures printed to have on hand for that but I’ve got to keep moving in order to do so. The third day of induction was long and I didn’t sleep for almost 36 hours, the fourth day of induction Enzo decided to participate and things went very fast. You’d think I’d have plenty of time to keep you all updated but they keep you busy at the hospital. Blood pressure checks every 15 minutes, monitoring, IV drips that keep you going to the bathroom every hour and requires you to unhook and carry cords with you. It gets busy. I will try to get the back details filled in as soon as I can and post more pictures asap. Lucy says a transfer to Miami NICU may be in the works and that Enzo is still doing great! I can’t wait to write more! Was this quick enough Jen and Heather?? LOL.
